Running on E

Most days, I’m on survival mode. Just here—trying to make it. I wake up with my “mom cape” already on, because in my case, it doesn’t come off, not even in my sleep. I stare at the cabinet and think, Do I cook breakfast or let them eat cereal and Pop-Tarts? Then comes the guilt: Am I a bad mom if I don’t cook?

I see other moms out here killing it—cooking full meals, packing cute snacks, managing everything like clockwork. And here I am, just… making it.

But that’s where we mess up—comparison. That mess will have you doubting yourself in a life nobody else is even living but you. Everyone’s circumstances are different. Some days, I push through no matter how I feel. Other days, I just need to sit in my feelings.

There’s always something to do. I’ll start one thing, think of five more, then—
“Mom, can you fix me something?”
“Mom, look at this!”
“Mom, he hit me!”
Kids arguing.
The baby—my new stepper—wobbling around, pulling things down, learning the world.
And me? Still wearing this cape, trying to hold it all down until I just… can’t.

I get tired.
Tired of doing it all.
Tired of solving every problem, making every decision, holding up the weight of this household.
Even when I try to rest, guilt creeps in—because nothing ever feels complete.

It’s exhausting being the engine that keeps everything running.

Running on E.
And today, I give myself permission to sit in that feeling.
Not to fix it.
Not to fake it.
Just to feel it.

Because even on E, I’m still here. Still showing up.
And sometimes… that’s enough.

If you’re running on E too, just know—you’re not alone. We’re not failing. We’re just human.